Good Muslimah

Disclaimer:

I will start by saying: these posts about my childhood trauma I’m  telling you guys; are a heavy topic. Sensitive people and minors are advice to not read this. The content contains rape, violence, mental abuse, physical abuse, and death. Sociopaths, psychopaths and a lot of narcissism.

I write it here to sort out my flashbacks and memories.

But also, to leave something for investigation, in case something bad happens to me. I have survived a lot and it would be a shame to get this far and not be able to tell my story, just in time.

This is in Sweden.

 

Good Muslimah

 

He wanted her to be a good Muslimah. She had to put her hands up to the sky or ceiling and pray. She needed to learn that you don’t just get into heaven just like that. There were rules. One of them was listening to what he said and obeying him.

 

Hell or Heaven?

Oh, by the way, dad. Where do you think Fatima is now? Heaven or hell? Or nowhere? Will God still listen to you and abuse her too? Because she is just a baby and babies are not real people? Aren’t we all just God’s children? Oh, that’s Christianity. Right, children get to this world on their own and they belong to their father. They are a property. 

Did Muhammed really say that? Is Muhammed the only miracle child out there. What about Fatima revisiting you now? Is this not a miracle yet? I believe it is. And this is your new religion dad. You will believe in God now. And hopefully met him very soon.

She went through hell. Will she meet you at heaven’s doors? You really think you are going to heaven? Are you that entitled? What’s your plan B? Are you going to kill God if he tells you NO? Hahaha! Bitch!

 

Dad, enslaving the closest to you?

(A few years ago he called my mom a handicap because she didn’t work and earn her own money. Well, she is a handicap in her mind though because she is not a baby like Fatima!

At the same time, he wants everyone to depend on him. And beg him. It doesn’t matter what. He wants you to beg for money if you need it so he can use you. He wants you to beg for sex if HE wants it, so you believe he is not using you. 

When I was 16 he told me – “As long as you have a father you will never ever need anyone else, you don’t need to work because I will take care of you financially”, then he turns around incapable and I can see it. If I was expecting something from him it would have cut me in two, but I never ever depended or even trusted him. That’s manipulative. And he waits with the abuse, it will come within a year. He likes it when you beg him because of you are dependent on him.

My whole family lives in a household that is similar to North Korea. The finances are very restricted. No one asks for money from him and no one wants anything to do with him but still, he stays acting as if he is the only right thing about our family. My mother is a lovely supporting actor to him. Covering up for him and herself.

I guess he only wants to feel as needed as he needs my siblings. Because pussy is power and he runs on taking from other people. By abusing and manipulating innocent well-intentioned people that are just living their own lives. They have no clue. I don’t understand why he needs to take hostages like that. Acting as if he is taking care of anyone. 

One day you will be old and gray and no one, NO ONE; is going to care about you. Or even care for you. A rotten piece of shit in prison, that’s your future. Whether it’s here in Sweden or in Tunisia. There is no escape for you. Mark my words! Are you going to fake your identity again? Maybe become a woman this time.) 

 


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